doberdogodek

Mama / Mom

Biti starš ni enostavno. Predvsem zato, ker ni priročnika, ki bi nas lahko že vnaprej poučil, kako vzgajati otroka. Z vzgajanjem prenašamo na naše otroke naše izkušnje in znanja, ki izhajajo iz kulture, v kateri živimo, saj ko smo bili sami vzgajani, smo prevzeli določene norme, vrednote, socialni položaj …, in tako jih tudi mi prenašamo na svoje otroke. Naši starši in stari starši so imeli bolj avtoritarno vzgojo, ki je bila osnovana predvsem na moči in strahu, danes pa se vse več ljudi nagiba k bolj sočutni vzgoji, ki je osnovana na vzajemnem razvoju obeh: otroka in starša hkrati.

Vsak človek je edinstven, zato vzgaja otroke na svoj poseben način. Moja otroka me nenehno presenečata s svojimi dejanji. Enkrat sta vsa žareča, igriva, se smejita, spet drugič oslabljena, tiha, razočarana, vmes pa pridejo trenutki, ko sem utrujena od napornega dela, želim trenutek zase in nisem dovzetna za njuna razpoloženja, takrat prenašam na svoja otroka zapuščino prejšnjih generacij. Kot starš sem velikokrat v dilemi, ali je moja reakcija pravilna ali nepravilna. Vendar se vedno odločim za eno in za njo stojim ter samo upam, da je pravilna. Mogoče je povezana z mojo preteklostjo? V tistem trenutku tega ne vem, a me otroka kmalu seznanita z odgovorom. Saj sta onadva moja učitelja, ki v meni prebudita tista čustva, ki sem jih izgubila, ko so me pripravljali, da postanem družbeno bitje, in sta moje zrcalo, saj se v njiju zrcalim z vsemi pozitivnimi in negativnimi kvalitetami, ki sem jih na svoji poti socializacije prevzela.

Zavedam se, da naj se še tako trudim biti dobra mama in delati v skladu z njunimi željami, je včasih moja reakcija boljša drugič slabša. To je paket, ki sta ga moja otroka dobila, ali obratno, ki sem ga jaz dobila, ko smo se znašli na skupni poti. Moje osnovno in najpomembnejše vodilo danes je vzgajati z ljubeznijo, in ju ne poskušati oblikovati po svoje,  kajti prepričana sem, da jima le na ta način lahko vgradim občutek samospoštovanja in samozavesti. Hvaležna sem jima za to, da sta z menoj, in verjamem, da se dobro vrača z dobrim, zato ju nenehno hvalim, spodbujam in se trudim, da moja kritika ni škodljiva. Vem, da moja otroka ne potrebujeta idealne mame, temveč dobro mamo, in to me pomirja.☺Maja

Mom / Mama

It isn’t easy being parent, mainly because there is no manual to teach us how to up bring our children. By bringing up our children, we transfer both the experience and knowledge derived from the culture in which we live.  When we were brought up, we took in certain norms, values, social status ... which are transferred to our children. Our parents and grandparents had a more authoritarian upbringing, which was based primarily on power and fear, but today more and more people tend towards a more compassionate education, which is based on the mutual and simultaneous development of both children and parents.

Every person is unique, so raising children must be done individually. My children constantly surprise me with their behaviour. Sometimes they are all bright, playful, and full of laughter, while other times they are weakened, quiet, and disappointed. In between, come moments when I was tired of all the hard work, when I wanted a moment for myself and I was more insensitive to their moods. It was then that I transmitted a legacy of previous generations to my children. As a parent I am often faced with the dilemma of whether my reaction is correct or incorrect. But I still stand by my choice. There are many times when I am in a situation where I hope that my decision is the right one. Could it be related to my past? At that moment, I do not know, but I know my child will soon give me an answer. They are my teachers, they awaken in me those emotions that I lost when I was becoming a social person and they are my mirror, they reflect all my positive and negative qualities, which I take in on my path to socialization.

I realize that, if I try hard to be a good mother and work in accordance with their wishes, the end result is sometimes better and sometimes worse. This is the package that my child has received, or vice versa, which I receive when we find ourselves on the same path. My basic and primary considerations on upbringing my children today is to raise them with love. I am not trying to shape them because I'm sure that this is the only way that they can become self-respecting and self-confident people. I am grateful to them for being with me and I believe in karma, so I constantly praise, encourage and try not to hurt them with my criticism. I know that my child does not need a perfect mother, but a good mother and this calms me. ☺Maja